Marriage Counseling: Working Through Relationship Problems

So many marriages are riddled with relationship problems, causing them to be dull, unhappy and in the dead zone. They sometimes feel their marriage is headed down a path to nowhere.

Couples are constantly at each other instead of working with each other. This prevents them from coming up with solutions, so they find themselves sinking into a deeper hole. 

You may be at this point and wondering where your marriage will be in the next year. The problems in your relationship have just become too overwhelming. You have tried marriage counseling before but nothing changed. Well, sometimes you just need to stop and look at your marriage from the outside in and try to figure out what is causing the problems.

There  are many relationship problems  that can destroy your marriage but in this discussion, we will focus on three of them along with some quick and easy solutions.

You Argue Daily Sometimes Hourly

A sign that your marriage is in serious trouble is when you argue daily. There is always something that annoys you or your spouse and you just find yourselves going at it.

Solution:
One Spouse has to be willing to say, "I am fed up with this type of lifestyle and I will no longer take part in petty arguments". If you notice that an argument is about to begin, you will put you pride aside and allow your spouse to ramble on. Remember, it takes two to have an argument and individuals usually get what they give.

Therefore, if your spouse realizes that you will not get caught up in a heated argument, eventually he or she will also allow trivial matters to pass without an argument. Proverbs 17:14 tells us that, "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

Are you mature enough to take on this challenge?

You are Both Spiteful and Provoking

Things have become so frustrating in your marriage that you are willing to spite your spouse so that he or she can know how miserable and upset you are.

Solution:
The mistake you are making is focusing on your spouse. Instead of making his or her life a misery why not focus on making both of your lives a joy, but starting with yourself. No matter what anyone says, making someone unhappy can never bring you satisfaction or happiness.

Decide that starting today; you will focus on the positives in your relationship. Focus on ways to build up your spouse and improve your happiness.

You Allow the Simple Things to Become Mountains

Why do so many spouses allow petty things to steal their joy? If the tooth paste is not squeezed the way they think it should be squeezed they get upset; if their wives leave a wet towel on the floor they want to tear their hair out and if their husbands leave the toilet seat up they want to crucify him.

Solution:
We have sat in countless counseling sessions with couples who just had monstrous arguments that lasted for days. After getting to the bottom of it we realized that some of them didn't even remember what caused the argument in the first place because it was so trivial.

Our recommendation to couples, who get upset over small stuff, is to fix it instead of complaining about it. Also, they need to put themselves in their spouse's shoes. Let us give you an example.

Wives who complain that their husbands leave the toilet seat up are not taking into consideration that their husbands have to lift the toilet seat whenever the need to use it. They would also say, "Honey, why don't you leave the toilet seat up?"

Final words

If your marriage is heading down a road to no where, it is because both of you have allowed it to. Decide to put it back on the path you had originally intended it to go.

By Lesia Gregory
Marriage Thermometer