    
Marriage Advice - 4 Simple Ways to
Regain a Happy Marriage
You may be struggling to get back that happiness
you and your spouse once shared. You have tried so
many things but nothing seems to change. There are
several things you can do, but for the sake of time
we will look at four very important areas in your
marriage, that if you improve, can make a huge
difference for years to come.
Companionship
Marriage is such a beautiful gift from God but too
often we take it for granted. The first year and for
some the first months of marriage, you cherished the
companionship you shared with your spouse.
It felt great knowing you were going home to
someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life
with. But for some, this feeling eventually changes.
They no longer look forward to seeing their husband
and he is experiencing the same feelings or just
feel hurt and neglected.
This may happen because you have allowed the
pressures of life to drown out what was once
extremely special. Your spouse is no longer your
best friend.
The first step in regaining a happy marriage is
recapturing that companionship you once shared. You
need to love and look forward to spending times with
each other. You need to see the importance of those
times and cherish every moment.
If both of you have become distant; you may need
to address the problem and make some changes.
Sometimes couples lose this sense of companionship
because they find themselves doing and enjoying
totally different activities. Think of some things
you can do together. Things you both enjoy.
Acceptance
A spouse who experiences rejection can become
extremely unhappy and depressed. You may
subconsciously reject your spouse or even
consciously do it just to punish them for something
they did.
What ever the reason, this is one area that hurts
every marriage and has led to separations and
divorce.
Some couples think it is the huge things that
destroy a marriage, but it is actually the daily
small things that you allow to slide.
Although you and your spouse may have many
differences, you need to accept him or her for who
they are. Too often I find that the wives are guilty
of wanting to change their husbands.
There is a saying that: The wife marries the
husband hoping that he will change and he does not.
While the husband marries the wife hoping she will
not change but she does. If you are guilty of
wanting to turn your spouse into your ideal husband
or wife, you may go over board and actually push
them away.
Support
We have found that many marriages that fall apart
did so because of an unsupportive spouse. If they
want to do a particular thing that would benefit the
family, they receive oppositions from every angle.
They never feel like their suggestions or
decisions are worth anything in the eyes of their
spouse. They may resort to seeking support from
others outside their marriage. Very soon their
spouse is complaining that they are having an
emotional affair.
While emotional affairs are definitely
inexcusable, a difficult and uncooperative spouse is
also inexcusable.
No Need to
Be a Super Hero
In the same way we need to support our spouses, we
also need to accept support from them. Some
individuals think they need to be super heroes in
their marriage. They try to do everything on their
own causing their partner to feel rejected.
Everything around the house is done by then.
However, when things become overwhelming, that is
the time they cry that their spouse is lazy and
selfish but in truth they did not give them a chance
to help. This is especially true for individuals who
were independent for many years before marriage. Now
that they are married it is extremely difficult for
them to depend on their spouse in anyway.
Remember, marriage is about giving and taking;
50/50 not 80/20 or 20/80.
Closing
Questions
I will close this article with four questions for
you to consider:
- Do I consider my spouse as
my best friend?
- Do I constantly criticize my
spouse?
- Do I support my spouse's
ideas or do I usually find a reason why they
will not work?
- Do I come across as superman
or superwoman in my marriage?
© Mark & Lesia
Gregory – All Rights Reserved 2009.
www.marriagethermometer.com
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